Mommy, do you have a picture?


Adoption is a part of the way our family moves and breathes. I’m thankful that we are a transracial family because we can never forget to talk about adoption as a way God has put us together. Certainly weekly and at times even on a daily basis, adoption is discussed openly and valuably in our home. We recognize adoption as a beautiful thing.

Still, it felt rather random for Pearl to have asked me recently if I had a picture of her birth mother. She did not use that exact terminology, but thanks to that conversation now we do have a word for what she was asking. The girls know the story of The Rainy Day, but I’ve never shown them pictures. That day I did. At the end, I showed them the picture of The Captain and me, and told them at that point Sassafras was the size of a kernel of popcorn growing in my tummy and we didn’t even know her yet.

Obviously (well, I'm a dolt so it wasn’t but it should have been), Pearl asked if I had a picture of the tummy she grew in.

This was a critical moment for her, and even I saw it for what it was. We are now taking the precarious step of talking about adoption as a beautiful thing to talking about adoption as a necessary thing. 

Pearl is beginning to learn her story.

For adoptive families, everything is on a need-to-know basis. We don’t give our children more information about their stories than they can handle.

To know that she is safe and loved and secure in the family God chose for her has been all Pearl has needed to know so far. As we begin to talk about how we are the second family God chose for her, her need to know her story will continue to grow, as will her need to know that she is safe and loved and secure in our arms.

My prayer is that we traverse this stretch with the unbreakable cord of God’s grace tying us not only together but also to Him.