Anyone who knows me on anywhere remotely near a personal level knows one key fact about my preferences in communication: don't call me.

It's not that I don't like you. I do.

It's not that I don't want to talk to you. I do.

It's not that I don't want to share your life. I really do.

It's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say, or that I don't want to help you if you are in need. You know that with all my heart, I do.

Honest and for true, it's not even that I will purposely ignore your call. Most of the time I don't hear it ringing and even if I do, it's probably too loud for me to hear to talk or there is some sort of miniature disaster occurring with one or all of my children. Sometimes it's because my bigger girls are sponge-parrots, and you and I may have things to say that just aren't their beeswax.

I just don't talk on the phone. Period.

The only reason I even have a phone is so I can text. Well that, and run my whole life and five people's schedules and manage my library and keep up with The Captain's itinerary and rule the world. By the power of the iPhone! Muhuwahahaha.

Texting is how you can get me. Texting is where it's at in the Casa de Wilson.

Here's why:

1. I'm partially deaf. No, really, I am. One of these ears is good for nothing but an earring. To have a meaningful conversation, the one good ear requires complete silence. Any background noise interferes with my ability to understand you and therefore avoid all those annoying huhs and what did you says. From my personal experience, on the third what was that, everyone has given up.

    a. It is never ever EVER remotely quiet at my house. Or in my swagger wagon. Or at work. Even if the girls are asleep, The Captain is blaring the TV. Even if HE's asleep, the cats are hissing at each other and breaking things. Even if the cats are asleep, Sweet Love is about to yell out for some attention or passy or whatever.

    b. If it ever truly is completely, totally silent in my world, well...then, Mama's sleeping and that's a fact, Jack.

2. I am a visual person...probably largely due to #1. Whereas it can take me a hitch longer to volley verbal conversation, if I can write/type it out my productivity is increased five-fold.

3. There is an awful lot of wasted time when placing a call. Ring, ring, ring, ring, voice mail, leave a message, click, wait for return call. There's even wasted time initiating a conversation (or at least in good Southern discourse...all the how are yous and how about this weather and don't forget about the how is your mamas). Tick tock tick tock. Wasted time is offensive to me. Both a blessing and a curse, this cerebral cortex of mine uses every waking moment for learning/doing/making/observing/analyzing something. It is how I'm made. Targeting the heart of the matter is, to me, most respectful of everyone's time. Texting offers that liberty.

4. Texting is an efficient way to communicate. I can barely handle one conversation on the phone, but I have successfully executed up to seven entirely unique text discussions at once...that jacks up to the thirties when the Wilsons have some news to share with our world. Multitasking at its finest, I tell you.

5. Texting is an effective way to communicate. Everything's there in plain print, with easy reference back to previously discussed and forgotten details without having to trouble another party. Event times and locations, what hospital room so and so is in, what you said you'd bring to small group meal, where your friend is registered, etc.

Possible exceptions include friends who know this about me and still call anyway; I always know it's important (and that they won't care if Pearl is throwing a fit over not eating her dinner) when I see their number.

Absolute exceptions to this rule: The Captain and anyone in possession of my children. If they call, Mama drops everything to see what's up.

Alone in this, I am not. I have quite a few texting BFFs and my guess is their reasons for not answering the phone are much the same as my own, as we are all just a gaggle of busy mamas balancing life the best we know how and doing so with our opposable thumbs.

These are good reasons, and there's not a thing wrong with capitalizing on this perk of the Digital Age.

Personally, I have to remind myself often not to offend others, no matter how smart or good or right the Way of the Text is. A few boundaries I have instilled include that replying is solely at the discretion of the recipient. I don't get my knickers in a twist if someone doesn't reply right away. They'll get to it, just as I will when I can. Unless emergency-related, I do not text between 10pm and 7am. I usually do not text while driving, but never with my children in the car. Exceptions to that would be voice texting or using HeyTell.

What say you about the Texting Revolution? Are you all about it or consider texting a pock upon humanity?

Text Etiquette

Emily Post on Texting and on Finding Your Number

Minding Manners in a Texting World

Books on the texting debate (*Amazon affiliate links):

The Txtng: The Gr8 Db8 

Teenage and Adult Texting Addictions: What You Need to Know