Attachment Series: Protect their story.

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Protecting your child’s story is vitally important in all stages of adoption. When you are finally matched with a child, you want to share the details of their story with the world, because orphans always have a big story to tell. You want everyone to know where they came from, what the circumstances were surrounding the beginning of their life, and mostly for everyone to see God’s hand protecting your child even from early on in their existence.

You just can’t do that.

I read once (In a book? Blog? When I can find it, I will come back and cite.) that all your child has that no one can take away is their name and their story. Guard both of those with every fiber of your being.

Adopted children will have questions all throughout their childhood and adult lives about their story. They will struggle with why they were abandoned or relinquished or why and how their birth parents died (depending on each individual's unique situation). They will wonder all sorts of things about their birth families, genetics, and the gaps between what little information you may have.

What does this have to do with attachment after your kid comes home?

If you give away pieces of or all of your child’s story, it is possible or even likely that they are going to hear about it from other people. This will be hurtful to your child, and will damage the trust relationship you will have worked so hard to build. Know that it is for the adoptee to decide who gets to know what.

Protect their story. It will matter.