The first year or so after we brought Pearl home was a dark, hard time…just as our books and training had warned. I had naively hoped for a different experience because it seemed we had so much going for us. Pearl had a slow transition from the orphanage to our family and we had five and a half weeks of cocooning in her birth country.
When we got home, there was an overwhelming wave of relief that the most tumultuous, exhausting journey of our lives was finally over.
How about it was just beginning.
I read on another adoptive mama’s blog (and for the life of me I can’t find the post, but it was this chick) that the real work starts when you get home. That is true in a hundred thousand ways, and if I could go back I absolutely would do things differently.
We did some things well and I am thankful, but oh how I regret not using those first months more wisely. We simply did not know many people who had adopted and merciful heavens, I wish that there had been someone in my life to look me in the eye and tell me we would never get this time back with Pearl and that it is so important to get this stuff right.
If you are an adoptive family coming along somewhere behind us, please consider learning from our missteps. This is the first in a seven-part series on attachment in adoption, and includes some stuff we got right as well as what we would change if we could call Mulligan on those first few months home with our sweet Pearl.