In no particular order of shamefulness...

  • Sometimes I sneak my kids' gummy vitamins when I'm dying for a bite of sweet. 

  • I covet their bread. Words actually spoken at my dinner table: "Eat your pizza! You don't know how lucky you are!!!"

  • The way I see it, charging them a "service fee" of one bite for every fruit snack pouch I open is merely preparing them for reality.

  • Ordinarily, microwaved French toast sticks would curdle my gravy. During deprivation, however, my mouth waters as I'm chipping apart those frozen frenchy logs for the microwave.