I almost didn't go...

Quick update on my 40 for $50!

So many of you have pledged to support my journey to Uganda to help pregnant mothers. Your generosity is just overwhelming! Thank you all so much. I am still looking for 17 people to join me in serving the beautiful women of Uganda in this very unique way. Three easy ways to give (tax deductible donations)!

  • Go to Mercy for Mamas and donate through PayPal (be sure to designate for Michelle Wilson!)
  • Mail check to Mercy for Mamas at 1604 Prairie Run Circle, Mulvane, KS 67110 (be sure to designate this for me!)
  • Mail check to me and I will send on to Mercy for Mamas.

May 12th is just a few days away. Please consider being one of my 40 contributors!

I really didn’t want to have to confess this so publicly, but…

I almost didn’t commit to Uganda. Other than the difficulty of being away from my kids and The Captain for nearly two weeks, there were other major complications muddling everything all up. 

1. My Sassafras will have her 7th birthday while I’m gone. As she hits this special milestone, I will remember how she miraculously came to be and reflect upon the incredibly insightful and funny and clever young lady into which she is blossoming…8000 miles away from her. When I realized that the two week window for this trip would include the big birthday, it felt like a good swift kick to the gut. Birthdays are A BIG DEAL around the casa de Wilson. A very, very big deal. When I talked with Sass about it, she cried hysterically and I stopped up car line at school just to hold her a minute and get her calm enough to go inside. She begged me not to go. And as I contemplated this journey, a big part of me felt responsible to meeting her needs first…to be her mama instead of serving other mamas.

2. The itinerary for this trip includes some rather rustic lodging conditions at one or two stops. I am no prima donna, but seriously…I’m not good at rustic. I do not camp because, ew, the bugs and ohmystars the snakes. Snakes are plentiful in at least one of the areas we will work/sleep, and you all may not know this but I am not even remotely capable of dealing with snakes. Typical reactions to these wicked creatures includes code red levels of hysteria, crying, inability to breathe, and the sudden capacity to outrun Jesse Owens (despite being a sista with some size). Symptoms increase with proximity. In a nutshell, I lose my mind around a snake. A total fool is what I'll be. 

3. I’ve always thought that my first return to Uganda would be with all of my people. It makes me feel sad and lonely to think of seeing/smelling/remembering/experiencing without them.

4. The money. Sweet mother of Abrahama Lincoln, the money. WHO HAS $3500 LAYING AROUND? Not I, said the fly.

Those? Are some good reasons, y’all. So I prayed and I waited and I told the trip leader not to buy my plane ticket. Not yet. I just wasn’t sure and I had to be sure if I was going to purposefully spend two weeks away from my family.

In the interest of being perfectly honest, I hoped that the answer would be no. That I would get to stay home with my people and enjoy a relaxing two weeks and par-tay like it’s 1999 with my Sass on her seventh. And no snakes. 

Instead…

1.     God reminded me that regardless of how much I love and cherish my kiddos and their big moments, my first responsibility is obedience to Him as His follower. To choose disobedience out of putting my children before Him is idolatry.

2.     To choose disobedience out of my deep-rooted fear of snakes and camping out in a third world country is faithless and cowardly.

3.     To choose disobedience by putting my own plans and wishes before God’s will is prideful arrogance.

4.     To choose disobedience by doubting God’s provision makes a mockery of His perfect sovereignty.

And so just like that it was all pretty simple. How would God receive most honor and glory, through my cowering comfortable at home and saying the money will never come and keeping a whole ocean between myself and one of my worst fears and putting my child’s desires above clear direction from Him?

Or... 

Would He receive most honor and glory through my going on this trip even though it will hurt like the dickens to be separated from my people and trusting Him to provide the funds and obeying His direction to serve sweet Ugandan mothers? Through trust in and obedience to Him despite great fear.

In this context, it was crystal clear. As our departure date approaches I am growing more excited each day to have the honor of making this trip back to my sweet Pearl’s homeland. Interesting talks abound as we all get ready for mama’s big trip. Sweet Sassafras, who felt most strongly about my not going, has grown significantly. She is still sad but says she knows it is important for me to go, and has even given from her own coffers to help me get there.

I may not get to squeeze and kiss her the day she turns 7, but this seeing her grow into her own faith and maturity and selflessness? I’ll take that any day.

Want to be one of the remaining 17 spots to help me help these mamas?

  • Go to Mercy for Mamas and donate through PayPal (be sure to designate for Michelle Wilson!)
  • Mail check to Mercy for Mamas at 1604 Prairie Run Circle, Mulvane, KS 67110 (be sure to designate this for me!)
  • Mail check to me and I will send on to Mercy for Mamas.