Thought this would be appropriate, since I'm headed back to work today.
Here We Go Again
Originally posted August 2008
So, the countdown to going back to work is on. Actually, in the back of my mind, the clock has been running since the last day of school in May. I sure have done anything and everything I could to maximize this summer home with my precious baby girl (and I think we are both exhausted now). We've done a great job at staying busy and making memories, but now there is no ignoring that ugly day on the calendar that means I have leave her in someone else's hands once more.
Yeah, I do know how fortunate we are to have such a fantastic setup for childcare, but no matter who I am leaving her with, I am still leaving my Sassafras. She and I have settled into a nice routine together, and I really hate the fact that now her daily routine won't involve me very much.
Last year, people told me that it would get easier, but even though that sounds nice, it isn't true. Not for me. For me, every day is more difficult than the day before. Last year was tough because it was our first time to leave her, but last year she was usually asleep in her car seat. This year she will be looking at me and possibly reaching or crying for me. How is that any easier?
So, the million dollar question: if it's so hard, why do it? Well, the reasons are few but big and (at this point in our lives, anyway) Matt and I know we are doing the right thing. Despite my anxieties, my sadness, and my worries over Sassafras, I am praying Psalm 91:1 for her. ("For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go.")
So. Here we go again...
Sigh. Here we go again, indeed. Third time around with this, and it still isn't any easier.