What happens at the fish club stays at the fish club

I have eaten some good food in my life, but everything I have ever consumed falls drastically short of the following meal The Captain and I experienced last night at a local restaurant in the city...

-Cauliflower soup with oyster mushrooms, butternut squash, and black truffle oil

-Red snapper on chowder with tiny little bits of bacon, rutabaga, parsnips, baby carrots, cippolini onions, and potatoes

-Warm pear tatin, caramelized apple, poached pears, bay leaf ice cream, and rugelach

The Captain ordered a plate of raw snapper belly, grouper cheek, and tuna for his appetizer, a mostly raw hunk of tuna for his main course, and I swear if there had been a raw seafood item on the dessert menu he would have chosen that to complete the fish flesh trifecta. Yak.

Friends, I am telling you, this meal was out.of.this.world. There was freshly baked bread, freshly churned butter, all the seafood was from the coast, all meat brought in whole and butchered on site, and all the produce/dairy from local farms. After weeks with absolutely no hint of carbs or sugar, it was mind-blowing to taste such delicious breads, sauces, vegetables, and creams. Forget wine, I got dizzy just from eating a piece of bread. Everything was the perfect temperature, perfect portions, perfect consistency, and perfect blend of flavors. It. Was. Amazing.

When I had taken the last bite I could comfortably hold (points for stopping there, no?), I was truly morose that it was over. It was a deliciously unforgettable collection of food.

The Captain and I agreed it was a well-earned splurge, and had a perfectly lovely time getting Bread Head together. It was also nice to simply enjoy the food with no littles needing something wiped. We came to the conclusion that it was fun while it lasted, but if we're going to be successful with this diet, the splurge ended the moment we walked out of that beautiful, ornate front door.

We didn't fall off the wagon; we just drove that wagon the scenic route for a night. I'm happy to report that we have already successfully reverted back to the diet. Boiled eggs and kefir, coming right up!

Pass the bacon, please.

I'm actually passing ON the bacon now. And the chocolate. And cheese. And red meat. And potatoes. And the pasta. And sugar in any form. And, for the most part, anything that tastes even remotely decadent.

The Captain and I are on a diet.

I loathe dieting, proven by the girth of my thighs. It's just that I truly enjoy food. High quality, unprocessed, sophisticated (something with truffles as opposed to a bag of Ruffles), delectable food. We love to try new creations, and The Captain has been dosed a generous amount of creativity in the kitchen. I also do not even remotely enjoy physical exercise. I'd much rather read a book or article and exercise my brain over doing a 30 minute cycle in the elliptical, and only the assurance of a good book on my Kindle will lure me anywhere close to a cardio machine. I also quite enjoy the presence of my children, and can almost always reason myself out of a gym visit because I'd just rather listen to them laugh or scrap or play in the bathtub than go walk on the stupid treadmill, which has to be the human equivalent to a hamster ball anyway. We should just exercise as a family, you say? Sounds great, but it's January and darkness descends around the same time my van pulls in the garage, and even if we get home early it is too cold for the baby. (And we have tried that before, resulting in tears from Pearl because she is in her own time zone and cannot keep up with the rest of us...nor does she approve of riding in a stroller.) Keep the solutions coming. I could do this all day.

Obviously, a fattie this conundrum (loving food, hating exercise) makes. And I'm beyond done with that. I've also dieted before, and if I were successful then we wouldn't be in this predicament now.

The Captain isn't a fattie...he just has sticky blood. Genetics have been bad to him, and his numbers (one DL too high, one DL too low, triglycerides through the roof) have always been bad...even when right after he ran a marathon and was in the very best shape of his life.

As neither of us wants to orphan our children anytime soon, we are dieting. The Captain has a goal, I kind of do and kind of don't. Goal: lose weight. Any weight. So, check. Mission accomplished. Nongoal: I will have to do this the rest of my life if I'm going to keep this issue under control. There's no end in sight. {sigh} But at least there will be cheat days now and again, so there's that.

It's going well so far. We've both lost around 10, and are adjusting to the new way of life. Of course, I'll have to lose about 20 more before it is even noticeable, but 10 is a good start.

In related news: I dreamed about eating a Hershey bar. It was so vivid that I woke up feeling guilty for cheating. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that there is a King-sized Hershey bar that I can hear audibly speaking to me in the teachers' lounge vending machine as I'm warming up my ground turkey for a taco salad.

*Side note: salubrity means conducive or favorable to health or well-being. It felt like a much more exciting tag than just "health." I might bore you to tears with my drivel, but at least you can walk away from this blog with a new vocabulary word.
Here's to being salubrious, people.

The stars of my show...

1) The Captain

Husband of over a decade, this guy is pretty much the best it gets in a life partner. Dude is tough, talented, hilarious, wise, loves his family, and never hesitates to put our needs before his own. He spends his days running a nonprofit and the rest of his time being good to his girls. I see Sperari Caeli in him every day. Once, after watching an episode of Little Bear, in which LB visits his father who is a boat captain, our oldest daughter decided that she wanted to call her daddy Captain, too. Given that he naturally takes charge in pretty much every situation, it stuck. Current loves: this yummy cucumber dill dip he figured out how to make with Greek yogurt. Hates: whining.



Sassafras is our eldest

. She is five going on 25. She is witty with a huge slice of silly, and is currently rocking kindergarten's face off. Sassafras lu-huvs being the biggest sister...to the point where a "You are not da mama" refrain echoes through our house at times. She is a huge help to us with the younger girls...most of the time. Sperare Caeli is something she is just beginning to learn about, and I'm anxious not to rush it but to see her thoughts develop. Current loves: coloring with oil pastels, American Girl, and cheerleading. Hates: going to bed, finishing her dinner, and wearing her pink shoes "because they make my feet hot."




is our three year old stick of dynamite. Adopted from Africa about two years ago, God has used this little girl in more ways than one to change our family from the inside out. The Captain and I had never cherished Sperare Caeli so much as during her adoption process. Adoption and the plight of the orphan is a big deal to us, and I'm sure you'll know all about it soon. Pearl has the most gorgeous smile and a laugh that is better than chocolate. She is the middlest sister and enjoys being given some big girl responsibility...most of the time. She's a feisty one. Current loves: shouting out "peanut buttah!!!" and then laughing hysterically, and telling me she ate chicken nuggets for lunch at preschool, when she knows I hate her eating chicken nuggets. Hates: anything that is not exactly the way she wants it exactly when she wants it.


4) Sweet Love is our four month old. Thus far, she has been the single biggest surprise of our life. After 9 months of wondering just what the heck we were going to do with another baby, now we simply cannot imagine our world without her. She is beautiful, sweet-natured, and relaxed...perfect in every way. We have Sperare Caeli for her life and purpose in this world. Current loves: milk and chewing on her fingers. Hates: being left in her carseat for more than two minutes after we get home.


5) It truly is an injustice that, given the fantastic collection of nicknames I have provided my people, they have wholly failed to reciprocate. Pearl calls me Chocolate and once The Captain tried to call me Queen Chocolate. Fail. Even though I'm nicknameless, for some reason I still get to be a part of this amazing family. I'm very thankful for that, and that I get to spend my days doing something I like: being a school librarian. Current loves: when all my people sit down for a lovely, delicious meal together and everybody finishes their plates without weeping or gnashing of teeth. Hates: that that literally never happens. Sperare Caeli gets me through it.

I can't say for sure, but probably won't ever post their pictures in entirety or use their real names. Not that it matters, because we are probably already Facebook and Instagram friends and you already get the boatload of pictures I throw out there, anyway.

These are the stars of my show.