The state of our salubriousnessicity

The diet. Oh me oh my, the diet. So the good news is two-fold:

1) that The Captain and I are maintaining our current weight rather than creeping back up,


2) given the nice chunk of pounds we shed during our first month or so, we are still doing pretty good in the grand scheme of things.

I surely to goodness wish that was all I had to say about that.

However, here are our current areas of difficulty:

-as the busy-ness of our life has hit Threat Level Midnight in the past few months, we’ve left “planning ahead” by the wayside. And yeah, everybody knows you won’t be successful with a diet if you don’t plan ahead for your food. No surprise there.

-we are falling very, very short of meeting our gym visit goals each week. That’s a time thing and that’s a parents-of-three-small-children thing but ultimately it’s a want-to thing, and we just don’t. The bouquet of excuses is plentiful and we frequently partake.

I will say that one of the best moments I’ve had recently was going out to dinner with some colleagues and realizing that I am now willingly (not willfully) making the right food choices. That’s big for me, y’all. Without even realizing it, I truly wanted the healthiest item on the menu. And it was really good. And I wasn’t even a smidge disappointed because I got exactly what I wanted.

So there’s that.

Got any tricks for making yourself go to the gym? Please do tell.


In no particular order of shamefulness...

  • Sometimes I sneak my kids' gummy vitamins when I'm dying for a bite of sweet. 

  • I covet their bread. Words actually spoken at my dinner table: "Eat your pizza! You don't know how lucky you are!!!"

  • The way I see it, charging them a "service fee" of one bite for every fruit snack pouch I open is merely preparing them for reality.

  • Ordinarily, microwaved French toast sticks would curdle my gravy. During deprivation, however, my mouth waters as I'm chipping apart those frozen frenchy logs for the microwave.

Cheaters never win...

Well, this happened today...

The Captain and I declared a moratorium on the diet. I mean, it's Valentine's Day, for crying out loud. Chocolate everywhere, special party planned for my kids at school (involving pizza), we've done so well thus far on el dieto, yada yada yada.

Yeah, after having a doughnut and coffee con real leche for breakfast, pizza with brownies for lunch, a coke just because, and a ribeye for dinner...I want to hurl.

It's crazy. We have wanted this food, looked forward to this food, planned our week around this food...and, well, frankly, it was disgusting. Neither of us could finish our dinners or eat our desserts. Instead, we just sat around the table moaning.

And the very bitterest icing on the make-me-sick cake is that tomorrow is weigh-in day and Mama's gonna pay. Dearly.

Forgive me, spinach and leeks. You were right; I do feel like hooey. Take me back and know I'll never turn my back on you again.

* was my original URL. Yes, it was sweet but rated horridly on the pronunciation scale.

Way Back Wednesday

*Mommy Diaries, star date September 2009

Poor Sassafras is going to grow up confused and thinking the room with the potties is called the Don't Touch Anything room! Every time she has to go potty, or thinks she has to go potty, or just wants to go look at the potty (which is about 5-7 times per outing now), Mommy shifts into the DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING mode.

Merciful heavens, public bathrooms are disgusting! Who knows who with their who knows what has left all their nastiness behind to either be contracted by the next victim or make someone really, really sick. It's a war zone, and the germs have the home field advantage. Personally, I think that all public bathrooms should be of the single-serve variety, and you should be able to set off a disinfecting bomb or something after you're done. That way, always clean and fresh and germ-free for the next customer. I dare say I would pay for such an amenity. $1 per use? Totally worth it.

So Sass is 2. We're working on the whole potty thing. That sounds like a great idea if you're home all the time where you know exactly who has been on your toilet seat. Just one trip to the public potty is exhausting, and we can usually count on several during a meal or other trip.

When we walk in the bathroom, immediately I'm checking out the stalls to see which one looks least deadly. Then I use hand sanitizer, or antibacterial soap to wipe off the seat-front, top, and sides....and usually once more just to make sure all the germies are dead. Then I line the seat. (All the while I'm pausing every other millisecond to remind Sass, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. She is usually licking the handrails, peeking under the stall at the poor chick next door, or playing with the toilet brush at this point.) By the way, lining the seat is ridiculous. Even if you go around that thing twice, by the time her little keister gets up there, either the paper shifts or she tears it or it falls off. So far we have a 100% fail rate at keeping paper between skin and plastic.

She does her business, which almost always amounts to 2 drops of tinkle, if that. Several times she is sitting there fighting the inevitable #2, knowing full well she needs to go but doesn't want to. As I'm helping her redress, and reiterating DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING, she's usually trying to play with the remnants of the toilet paper and/or stick her fingers in her mouth...the fingers that she just had wrapped around a toilet. A public toilet. By this time I'm seriously contemplating whether or not dipping her in a vat of hand sanitizer would even help. She spends her last seconds in the stall arguing with me over why she should flush the toilet (it's her turn, she wants to do it herself, etc.). Then by the time we wash and dry hands (me reminding her DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING, after which she usually hangs on the garbage can and defiles her hands once more), either our party has left the building OR the restaurant has closed.

It is at this point that she usually poops in her pants.

Any of this sound familiar? Kids are nasty, I tell ya. N-A-S-T-Y. Changing diapers is not half as disgusting as using the public potty! I will be so glad when she masters this skill and we can move on...that, or when someone takes off with my potty disinfectant bomb idea!

*Post-month and a half in Africa plus mother of three children Michelle says: Good grief, I was a nut. Germs. So what. Lick it twice, girls. Good for the immunity!

And nobody would ever know...

Chocolate is my thang, y'all. In any form and of any variety. Even the cheap chocolate you catch at parades.

At work I have easy access to a plethora of candy bars. On the way home, I pass at least three fast good places that have notably exceptional chocolate desserts.

I swear to you, I have never wanted a Hershey bar so bad in my life as the past 14 days.

But I don't NEED a Hershey bar. Does anybody?

And so I have resisted. Even when nobody would ever know if I had just a bite, I resisted.

Wanna know what I eat instead?
This concoction...what I'll lovingly refer to as Chocolate's Ugly Cousin. But that's okay, because I'm down almost two more pounds. Boo ya.