Let's talk hair

The most important thing I could and want to pass along on this topic is the incredible significance of truly loving your child's hair. 

Second to that is, without question, that moisturizing is essential. Pearl's hair is the tightest, most coarse texture of hair that God makes. At 4C, her curls need intensive moisture to remain healthy and vibrant.

Moisturizing is bigger than just one step in the process. Pearl's hair is very, very thirsty, and we moisturize (and re-moisturize) a few times throughout the day.

The Products

Now, the conversation about moisturizing products can be a lengthy one. Every black woman I have engaged in a discussion with (or been approached by) regarding products has essentially told me something different than the last woman or the next. Every single woman, regardless of her ethnicity or hair type, has her very own unique opinion about which products are the best. No one's hair is exactly alike (props, Creator), and no one's favorite products are the same either. Having said that, realize that everyone thinks the stuff they use is the best and only answer to whatever issue you may be facing with your kid's hair.

The reality is that you are going to spend a small fortune in hair products.

To find out YOUR favorite products, you'll have to experiment...try different types of moisturizers/cleansers/styling goos and varying combinations of it all. The smart thing is to connect with other mamas in the same boat and pool your resources. I guarantee you that I have bottles and bottles of stuff that I've bought and hated over the past few years. Hit me up if you want to borrow some of it. Likewise, share and share alike.

Keeping that in mind, below are some of the moisturizing products that I have come to rely on as the best nourishment for my sweet Pearl's curls. They're all Amazon affiliate links, which is where I tend to find the best prices. Sally Beauty Supply carries all but the Carol's Daughter line, but even with a membership card the prices are almost always better on Amazon. Locally, you can only get Carol's Daughter from Ulta or Belk. Target will occasionally run a B1G1 sale on the Shea Moisture brand (I've yet to determine a pattern on that but if you know the secret, please do tell), which is a huge help in building your collection of products you love as well as stuff you want to try.

Remember that these items are just for moisturizing; cleaners, conditioners, detanglers, tools, styling aids...all of those are entirely separate categories.

Questions? Comments?

Let's talk hair

Although maybe sometimes all I want to do is buy my groceries, I am grateful for the scores of opportunities we are given to talk about adoption. 

The ladies, (of varying ethnicities, some who say it out loud and others who just want to), all wonder about Pearl's hair. What do I DO with it? Do I KNOW what I am doing with it?

So let's talk hair. 

The most important thing I want anyone to know about Pearl's hair is that I.LOVE.IT. Her tiny little black curls are among the most beautiful physical traits I've ever seen in any individual. I tell her often how pretty those curls are and how thankful I am that God made her hair so perfectly hers.  

Long ago, when we knew we were paper pregnant and that God was sending us to a girl, I decided that despite what I (Mrs. Lily White) knew and was comfy with in the hair department, I was going to do whatever it took to make sure my African daughter loved hers. 

And y'all. That part? It hasn't even been hard. I haven't had to work to convince Pearl to enjoy her hair because deep down to my marrow, I truly delight in it. Not because it's different. Not because I just want to survive it. Not only because I want her to love it. I truly love it because I love every bit, every cell, every atom of my girl.  

When I run my fingers through her curls, I marvel at just how tight they are. I'm in awe at the surprising length of it when a piece is stretched from scalp to end. I adore the cutie patootie way her headbands always offset her rich skin and growing poof. I am positively infatuated with how good her hair smells after a wash or styling.

White people don't get to smell like cookies, y'all. 

Dealing with four very different sets of girl hair in my house is like running a computer lab blended with Macs and PCs. Each head of hair has its own unique quirks and elements I completely adore. Obviously, Pearl's African locks are the most unique in the house, and over the past two and a half years, I've been thoroughly schooled. Maybe you're a transracial adoptive mama, too, and what I've learned the hard way can help you and yours in some small way. Maybe you're just curious because all you have at your house is all PC or all Mac, and to you I say wow. I bet your hair gear is way better organized than mine.

Although every African American individual's hair has its own unique characteristics, texture, and tightness, I'd love to share a bit of what I know so far about my Pearly Pearl's curls.

Ready? Let's talk hair.